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Professor of Psychiatry, Institute of Psychiatry, King's College London.

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(And don't use the leading question, “Do I come across as intimidating?

”) If you do hear that you’re intimidating, realize that you’ve been given some very valuable information about your communication skills.

Q: What does a single 37-year-old woman who still wants a child do? Rachel: Women like you are absolutely not in a hopeless situation—you’re in a very common situation.

I suggest you see your 37th birthday as a wake-up call to mistakes you may have made in the past, such as working too many hours and sacrificing your dating life or spending too long with the wrong man.

Q: I have a feeling that I come across as too needy, when I'm just trying to be friendly and inclusive. Rachel: Men and women can smell desperation a mile away, and if you have received feedback that you appear too needy or if you sense it in yourself, then you absolutely need to tone it down.

Ask friends or dates (if you have communication with them later), what specifically you did that appeared needy.

By age 38, however, you need to be more efficient in dating, both by increasing your efforts to meet more people, and decreasing the time you're willing to spend with someone before deciding if this is The One. Other than the bars, where can I meet men in their 40s? The reason it's great is because it's the wrong question—everyone assumes that it is difficult to meet men because they don't know where to look, but after 35 there is no where, there is only how. For example: Online dating, asking friends and relatives to fix you up, speed dating, matchmaking, going to join new clubs and groups that interest you.Everything you do and every person you meet has got to be seen through dating lenses, because doing anything half-hearted is not going to get you the result you want.Just as you would when searching for a job, you have to make dating your first priority.The key is to beef up your babysitting lineup, and not feel guilty about it.Even though in the short term you may not be there in time to tuck your child in to bed on a particular night, in the long run you are helping the child by bringing in a father to help guide him and love him.I'm so lonely now, but just can't make the leap to dating again. Rachel: First of all, you have to decide when the time is right for you to date again.