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"He treats me like a woman," Anna said of her husband.

"I don't want to be his equal and get a slap on the back; flowers and a kiss are just perfect!

She was very sexy and a great cook, but I had to go see my male friends to talk about anything interesting.

Laura is really up on Politics, literature and art." The Russian men praised their American spouses' independence.

Prior to the collapse of the Soviet Union, the overwhelming majority of mixed unions (aside from Russian émigrés who married Americans) involved American men and Russian women.

Though the Soviet authorities, after years of refusals, delays, and harassment, might reluctantly grant exit visas to the Russian wives of foreigners, getting permission for a man to leave was far more difficult.

Since the Revolution, Civil War, collectivization, famines, the gulag and above all World War II had led to a drastic demographic skew in which women considerably outnumbered men, a Russian man's marriage to it foreigner and subsequent departure meant that one less man was available for Russian women.

Compulsory military service and the fact that men were more likely than women to have access to classified information also made it more difficult to obtain an exit visa for a foreign husband.

The Russian men say they see their American spouses as partners in marriage and, most importantly, as women who treat them as men ad not as incompetent, infantile children, as so many Russian women are prone to do."My Russian ex-wife was always making fun of me, to my face and behind my back," complained one Muscovite."Jane doesn't treat me as though I were a fool and good for nothing except bringing home a wad of bills." Another man, Oleg, found "I could never really discuss anything with my Russian girlfriend." Unscathed by American feminism, the Russians still open doors, hold coats, pay a woman compliments, pick up the check in a restaurant, and feel it is their role to take care of the "weaker sex." For American women accustomed to males cowed by feminist rhetoric, this Russian protectiveness can have great appeal."He knows he's a man," Leslie, 30, an American teacher of Russian said of her husband. "Dmitry doesn't analyze our relationship all the time," Jane said.What do American women see in Russian men, and - assuming the Russians want more than just a trip to the US? Research and contacts with mixed couples while writing my book, have suggested a few possible answers.